Shan't talk about why I cried. Well I wasn't angry, disappointed or sad, I was just so so confused. And now I've got a self-record of crying for 1hr+. Heh. Until no more tears flowed out of my eyes. But somehow, I was still crying. And just couldn't stop. Omg, I couldn't speak properly. It was just so weird. It was a small matter. But it was so much worse than crying over English, Maths or Physics. The worst crying incident I've ever been through.
I guess drinking really did help. Hah. Unknowingly I gulped down a few small glasses of water. Yes, water, so I was so sober. And always sober enough to think through everything carefully.
I don't know if this incident really hurt me. I cried. But it wasn't the depressed kind of crying. Before I did what I did, I'd already known what the consequences were. And I knew how everyone was going to react. But I didn't care. I know I'm selfish. I was always very selfish. I wanted to do the most rebellious thing. And then get punished, cry, and be done with it. My plan worked! Mission successful. But now thinking of it, was it worth my tears? And my heart going through such pain? I'm still searching for an answer.
Actually I don't think an answer's required. I should leave this in history and never come back to it again.
The Enchanting Twilight
PS: Do not comment. This is an order. Not a favour I'm asking for. ;)
Labels: Tears
